irreluhventt:

somebody write this on my tombstone

You do not need pasta. —Me laying in bed talking to myself at 1:30 in the morning  (via seabelle)

endquestionmark:

#I’LL FUCKING ASSEMBLE YOU  #IN BED  

cptnrogers:

"too vague" writes my English teacher on my essay

kind of like the instructions you gave us you piece of shit

Calling someone a perfect angel is bullshit, no ones a perfect angel. People are flawed, imperfect beings that need to be loved for who they really are. Angel, if they’re really an angel then your love doesn’t mean anything, everybody loves angels. A real compliment isn’t angel, a real compliment is loving somebody even though you see them. Fuck “I love you because you’re perfect” how about “I love you even though I know you had a panic attack at macaroni grill for ordering the wrong entree”. —Pete Holmes (via canadiangardengnome)